Thursday, June 19, 2008

It's Hot, Hot, Hot

Big Mama and I are going 'round and 'round. It isn't about the kids or finances or anything like that.

It's the air conditioner.

She will run that thing 24 hours a day trying to get the temperature inside the house down to 72, even when it's 97 degrees outside. We live in a 1,200 square foot box that's been wrapped in metal since sometime in the 1950s when aluminum siding seemed like a good idea. We have no trees. It's like spending a night in the box, except it's all. summer. long.

There are things that make cooling the house even more difficult, like using the oven and the fact that we're poorly insulated and the windows are for crap. But mainly, it's the kids. Isn't it always the kids?

They use the front and back doors like ... well, doors. But not doors to the inside of our house or the backyard. They use them like they're doors to a time machine or Candy Land or Narnia or someplace much more exciting.

They go out, they come right back in.

And, sometimes, they just stand there with it open as though it's the refrigerator door. And they may very well be that confused.

I threaten them with locking the door, whether they're on the outside or the inside. This generally evokes laughter or rolling eyes or the occasional obscene gesture. But I'll do it! I'll lock these kids out of my house in a heartbeat. Sure, it's hot here. It's very hot. But there's a hose out there and they know how to use it. There are shady areas in the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, I'll be in the cool house where it's 77 degrees at best, but trying so hard to get down to 72, when Kristy will then ask the AC to go down to a reasonable 68.


Kristy said...

It's hot because the AC doesn't function as well as it should, or even as well as it used to.

Shannon said...

dude, we keep it at 79.

MLGW said...

78 is the recommended temperature in the summer.

80 if you are asleep or away for more than 4 hours.

blinds, ceiling fans, caulking, weatherstripping, cleaning your filter--all good things.

Chip said...

Wow! MLGW has a voice? And it speaks through a lightbulb? That's awesome.

Kristy said...

There is no way I can be expected to sleep in an 80 degree house!

Melvis said...

I recommend cheap domestic cold beer in a can. Instructions:

1. get some cheap beer
2. get a bag of ice
3. stick the unopened cans of beer directly in the bag of ice
4. remove shirt and shoes, sit on porch with bag o' icy beer and have the quartet squirt Dad with that hose
5. smiles and cool sensations will be felt by all, but especially Dad!