I've been talking to The Quartet about Christmas and what they may want, if anything, this holiday season. Turns out all they really want is this letter from Marlon Brando, who had immense talent, to Charlie Sheen, who has none at all, that is being auctioned. The letter is an apology from Brando for not being able to attend Sheen's 26th birthday party. It begins, "I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick ..." So, if anyone is feeling particularly generous, the current bid price is $1,100. The Quartet believes it will look great hanging in our dining room. Thank you and Merry Christmas.